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Archive for December, 2014

Book

I just realized that I haven’t blogged in over 2 years!!!   I have been musing over the idea of writing a book…actually, NOT!!  I have a dear friend who has said to me many times, “Princi, you have a book in you.”  I would love to be able to sit down and let words run from my fingertips like cool water tripping over rocks in a refreshing brook and invite people to drink from the wisdom that shows up.  BUT…I don’t and have blocked myself for the last couple of years of even doing a simple blog.  Until today.  I had another very dear friend say, “Why not?” and the face of my fifth grade teacher appeared before my tearing eyes…tears that utterly surprised me!  I, in that memory, sat in her class eagerly waving my hand to answer another of her thousand questions. Mrs. Kaiser looked at me and said, “Princi, put your hand down.  Let someone else speak.”  In other words…”No one wants to hear what you have to say” or even worse, “You’re just trying to be a ‘know-it-all’…and NO ONE likes a ‘No-it-all’!!!”

Awwww…so THAT’S what those stinging tears were remembering!!!  I have recalled that moment so many times before, but never with the deep emotion evoke by Mrs. Kaiser’s re-imagined face today.  The remembrance of her that I retold most was the time when asked of the class, “And what did you do this summer?”  I energetically and very passionately pulled out the dirty, worn wooden bathroom key that I pilfered from a backwoods gas station in Arkansas with the word “Colored” poorly scrawled in peeling paint professing, “Do you believe they actually have separate bathrooms for Negroes?”

Mrs. Kaiser’s indignation was immediately apparent as she ushered me to my seat saying, “We don’t talk about those things here.”   Once again implying “No one wants to hear what you have to say!!!”   AWWWWG…once again, keep your mouth shut and behave.

Needless to say, I’ve kept a lot to myself.  I once wanted to speak up at church when the Detroit Archdiocese was closing urban churches. I sat with the words churning in my stomach wanting to burst forth like a flood.  The urge to say what I was hearing in my heart seemed to come from somewhere beyond me.  But, I was terrified to speak and choked on the words.  Under my breath I asked for help and God told me, “Your heart may be in your throat, but when you speak the truth in love, My Word is in your mouth.”

So today…I am allowing myself to speak.  I desire to be able to say what Jesus said in so many words…”I don’t speak for myself…I speak what I hear my Father say.”  I am grateful for any opportunity to speak love and wisdom trusting that the words will reach the ear and heart of anyone who needs to hear.  Maybe one day it will become a BOOK.

Thank you, Cynthia and Sharon, for encouraging me!!

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