My favorite prayer over the last two years has been a Baha’i prayer written by ‘Abdu’l-Baha’:
“O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou are my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved: I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.
O God, Thou are more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.”
I choose to be a “happy and joyful being”…but, when I read those words…”happy and joyful being”…my heart sank. Just reading this prayer, I realized I have been suffering emotionally…unrelenting, consuming anger, feeling sad and lonely, displaced, scattered, insecure…longing to belong and be at HOME. I am tired of being angry and disappointed and I don’t want that to be my life anymore. I was not really aware of how to unhappy I have been for so long. I was only aware of my anger and sadness. To read those words was a wake-up call. I realized I didn’t know how to be a happy and joyful being…not sure what that actually meant for me. So, that prayer became my daily meditation journey.
When we decided to sell our lakefront home in Canada at the beginning of the pandemic, it was traumatic! The whole experience was a nightmare. Then selling our home on the Gulf Coast a year later during the pandemic and Hurricane Ida set me into panic mode to FIND A HOME!!! I just wanted to be HOME and settled, grounded, SAFE! To be somewhere that I belonged…somewhere to be rooted.
God spoke to me…gave me the word “DETACH”…detach from everyone and every “thing” external to me…to come back inside and find Him standing in my quiet, sacred space. Detach from everything except God, my source of being. He told me to come into the dark spaces within me…to examine and face the all scary places, acknowledge and name all the fears and traumas…that He is already there and there is no darkness to Him…all is Light. “I will transmute the power of your darkness into Light…into the very energy that will EMPOWER you to run the path I set before you.”
God gave me permission to stop trying to make things happen…to detach, release, let go, be free to allow all I truly need to COME to me…be free to RECEIVE…to relax, surrender all thoughts of what should be and accept the gift of just being in a space of all possibility and potential…to let my heart wish and desire and to be open to receiving…to realize I am worthy to receive. She told me to face and acknowledge my fears…to invite them to tea and listen to them…hear their stories and know their genesis. To THANK my anger for trying to protect me…to THANK my sadness for trying to comfort me…and then RELEASE THEM. I am worthy to receive love because I am the creation of love…I am worthy to receive adoration, grace, wisdom, guidance, security and protection…safety…emotionally and physically…and affection, nurturing and caring. I am worthy of being loved and I am free to love.
I am worthy of being WHOLE…no longer looking outside of myself for what I need…the external does not have the capacity to fulfill…it’s time-locked, hardened and material. My capacity lies in the quiet, unspoken sacred space within me…the space that is GOD within me…the space of all possibility and potential, unbridled, ever-expanding creativity, undefined prosperity and provision…all just waiting to be realized and spoken into manifestation. I no longer have to be torn between what I hope for and what I perceive because of underlying fears tearing me apart.
God gave me the word “HOMEOSTATIS”.
ho·me·o·sta·sis [ˌhōmēəˈstāsəs]}
noun – the tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, especially as maintained by physiological processes.
“HOME”ostasis…HOME-STAY-sis! I can finally realize that I am already at HOME!! I am and always have been my HOME!!! Homeostasis…Balanced…integrated in heart, mind and body into a space that continually expands and heals, rejoices and sings, creates and enjoys. I am in a space…HOME…that has no limits or boundaries, no barriers…a space of peace and GRATITUDE and security that allows me to BE…to BE GRATEFUL…to BE GRATITUTE…to BE A HAPPY and JOYFUL BEING.
The Kindred Coach 